Definately more of an intellectual. When I text or call a girl it's for a reason. I hate small talk or when I get texts about nothing particular. I like the idea of compromise, I can go outside of muncomfortnzone with it. But I think talking in the phone twice a day in addition to texting is over the top. Exactly, I don't feel the need to texting to tell about the goofy cat photo I just saw on the internet, nor do I consider texting a fun activity to pass the time when I'm bored.

I'll find something productive to do. But I'm open to compromise. I told her how I felt about it. She still texted or called from time to time, but only when it was important, like if she had a ruff day, a fight with her parents, etc. I would talk with her briefly to. She also knew that if it wasn't important, it was best just not to bother me. She could just tell me when we saw each other next which wasn't an eternity.

It was most likely at most, the next day. The problem is for women, its about competition to their female peers. They want to see who's Boyfriend cares about them more, and they gauge that by the amount of texts they get per day. Reading your comment has really open my eyes to a different perspective.

The Unspoken 48-Hour Rule

I would feel the same way that if a guy doesn't text me a lot then I'm not on his mind. But now I'm starting to see that it's ok to go a day or two with out hearing from him. You're right it's about how much time he spends with you and that he makes a effort to contact you. It may not be 5 times a day but as long as he contacts you frequently and spends quality time with you then that's all that matters.

I also think its interesting that you basically said men bond through touch? So a man would rather touch you to show you that he cares and misses you than to talk? I know not all the time but are you saying most of the time it is this way?

How often should you text/talk to someone you are dating?

And also when you say touch, do you mean sexual touching that leads to sex or just cuddling? Yes carmelc, endorphines released in males during physical touch and proximity. In women the same reaction occurs during deep conversation. I'm not saying that men don't enjoy deep conversations and women don't enjoy touch. But those things fill a special need for both genders to feel close and intimate towards there partner. Aka an emotional attachment. For guys this includes all levels of touch, from hand holding, to sex, and everything else inbetween.

This is why guys who are crushing on a girl will subconsciously always try and be near the girl same room, sitting next to her, standing near her, etc. I think you have the idea. It's just a different way of communicating. Neither gender is wrong, but given that both genders need to learn to compromise and be understanding of the others needs. Finally, I just think as an adult, you have better things to be doing that texting all day, and you really get busy.

You need to be able to go a few days without contact from your SO.

This is just me personally because I've encountered this problem before, I would not be OK with twice a week contact unless I planned on keeping the guy in the "casually dating" category. That's fine for someone to go out and play with once in a while, but it wouldn't be enough for me to consider a real relationship, feel comfortable with where I stood, etc.

Do you think GAG should combine these topics?

I understand that you're not in a relationship with these girls so you're within your right to play it however you want, but I like consistent contact and it would be something that would keep me from getting more serious with a guy. I actually had an experience with a guy like this once and I just assumed from his minimal contact that he wasn't very interested, or was seeing other girls.

When I got into a relationship with someone else, he was really mad at me and said that he had liked me a lot and planned on inviting me to his military ball in a few weeks.

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I was speechless because I had no clue, I just figured we were casually having fun hanging out every once in a while. So I guess that was my long drawn out way of saying, for me to feel comfortable and consider a relationship with a guy, I need contact on most days, even if it's just "hello. I thought that I make plans to hang out at least once a week would show that I like her. A second date should be set up by the end of date 1 and if not then by the end of that first week. Some people will date with no contact in between dates, that's not for me, it's not my style. My philosophy is if I am on a dating website it's to find someone that is truly interested in getting to know me, and anyone lucky warm about me after a few dates will be let go.

You decide for yourself what is a decent communication style. If you are not comfortable with communication once a week then don't date these men.

Plenty of men out there who do want good consistency in their communication. I have been dating someone for 6 weeks and we speak each day. Last edited by Gaeta; 13th April at Originally Posted by JennHenn. I went out with a girl for the first time on Friday night and I felt it went well mutually.

I didn't contact her that night and wasn't going to contact her the day after either, I was going to contact her today Sunday. I was on a less than stellar date with another girl last night Saturday and heard a message on my phone so I took a washroom break to check. The girl from Friday had sent me the old "hey you, whats up?

I'd say that worked out quite well to my favor. Maybe x per week getting together plus other points of contact: I was married before FB so I don't know exactly how that works or factors into the equation.

Most Helpful Guy

I start feeling ignored if we don't text every other day at a minimum. After a few weeks, daily contact is ideal. Doesn't have to be a long convo, I'm fine with a short "how was your day" thing or a funny pic, etc. Usually daily, nothing too heavy just a few texts sprinkle throughout the day about what we are up to. That's enough for me, not fussed about calls unless I'm with someone in a relationship. I prefer text to whatsapp as I like being able to take my time replying and find it creepy when someone can see every time I've used the app, although I've had dating relationships start out with literally 50 messages a day: It finds its own rhythm, I don't false wait to reply to a text if I can reply straight away, nor do I drop other commitments to sit on my phone.

You are being stubborn and distant by refusing to text someone to check in. We all have to compromise in relationships.

How often do you have contact when you've just started dating? - Community Forums

A healthy way to communicate. A very popular Medium writer and I disagree on this matter. But having the expectation that the person you are exploring a relationship with have the wherewithal to text once or twice a day or at least every other day does not make me or anyone else needy, clingy, or unreasonable.

If you are part of catagories 3 or 4 , I hope that you will reconsider your reasons for taking your approach. If not, be honest. Or maybe take a break from dating all together. Maybe you are shy or really independent, then you need to be very honest with yourself and your new person.

What kind of communication is that person looking for? How much are you willing to stretch yourself and your comfort level for this new person, this new relationship? When I was home this summer, I spoke with three different friends in three different relationships.